So it's your first time doing therapy... what to expect.

So you're new to therapy and you're wondering what to expect.... How do you navigate a first appointment?  What are they going to ask?  What does therapy even look like? What if I'm not ready to talk but I still want therapy?

I hope you are able to give yourself some credit and validation on choosing to try therapy. Whether you're pursuing growth or change, working on a relationship, contemplating your identity, or planning on addressing some difficult past experiences- your choice to work with a therapist is an important, and for many folks an intimidating, first step. The information below is a short guide to beginning this process.  

How do I get started?

• Utilize a therapist directory such as psychologytoday.com or goodtherapy.org to check out therapists in your area or in your insurance network.
• Ask a friend for a referral. 
  • I'd recommend asking a friend who struggles with similar issues or who thinks, feels, and processes similarly to you.
• Ask the therapist to schedule an abbreviated session to determine "fit."  
  • I offer individuals a no-charge, 30 minute consult, in-person so you and I can get a sense of if we're a good fit. Most therapists offer between 15 and 30 minutes usually via phone, no-charge, for individuals to check fit. While their websites may say these are generally phone consultations, it's worth asking if they're willing to do this in-person. It can be hard to get a sense of someone over the phone. 
• Schedule more than one consult.  
  • While this might feel nerve-wracking, it's so important. Even just sitting down with two people you'll get a sense of their different styles, whether they feel like someone you could trust, and different therapeutic methods or tools that might work for you. 

 Okay..... two first sessions/consults are scheduled. Now...

What will happen in a first session/consult?
   I can share exactly what to expect during a consult with me, and I'll add some general ideas of a first session with others. Different therapists may do first sessions in different ways.  If you're nervous about what will happen or what may be asked in the first session, send the therapist an email and ask! It's normal to be nervous when you're new to therapy and a good therapist will be happy to answer any questions you have prior to meeting.

    In most first sessions/consults, the therapist will likely:

• Ask about and get a sense of why you are pursuing therapy at this time.
• Ask about how you currently cope with whatever you're bringing to therapy maybe asking about your support network, coping mechanisms, personal approach to difficulties, or fulfilling hobbies/activities.
• Discuss confidentiality and the therapeutic relationship.
• Provide some information on their own style or techniques they offer that may help you in therapy.
• Offer time and space to answer any questions you may have about therapy.

   In my first sessions/consults, I will likely:

• Ask about what's bringing you to therapy.
• Ask if you've been to therapy in the past and how you felt about it.
• Discuss confidentiality and therapy in general.
• Explain what techniques I use in therapy, including somatic awareness and mindfulness (check my other blog posts for what this looks like!).  
• Give you time and space to ask any questions you may have about me, my therapeutic approach, or therapy in general.
• If there's time, I may guide you through a somatic awareness or mindfulness practice so you can get a sense of what it's like and ask if you feel like this might be helpful.

What should I ask in a first session/consult?
 Below are some ideas for what you might ask in a first session/consult. It might be good to prepare some questions ahead of time, especially if the consult is only 15 minutes, so you can get a good sense of if a therapist might be helpful for you.

• Ask the therapist about their therapeutic style and what a session might look like.
• Give some information about what's bringing you to therapy and ask the therapist how they might approach this issue/situation with you.
• Offer some information about how you process such a verbally or non-verbally, quickly or slowly, tearfully or stoic, and ask the therapist about their approach to your style.
• Ask the therapist to tell you about him/her/their-self.
• Ask about the therapist's knowledge of a particular issue or marginalized identity; this may be especially relevant for individuals seeking therapy to work with their gender identity, sexuality, or racial battle fatigue. 

Good therapy includes all the elements of a healthy, supportive relationship such as trust, mutual respect/appreciation, healthy boundaries, and a sense of being understood. You may find after one or more sessions that a therapist isn't a good fit for you; it's totally okay to voice that and find someone who is. As therapists, we get a lot of practice in not taking things personally, and perhaps the therapist you're working with can provide you with good referrals (I'm happy to do this for my clients!). Check the links below for more info about beginning therapy and searching for a therapist:

https://www.bustle.com/p/8-things-to-know-before-seeing-a-therapist-for-the-first-time-9784855
https://www.self.com/story/first-therapy-appointment
https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/how-does-that-make-you-feel
https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-to-expect-in-your-first-counseling-session/